well today was a horrible day my depression and anger was a 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. I had the sheriffs department on my property again yesterday looking for my cousins kid.s  They had a warrant for him and god only knows what he's done this time. He decided to run and hide out of my property. I feel I am the luckiest person to have a family like this. spent the day upset with my own family due to being so irritated.They are the ones who has to deal with me when things get bad. Its not fair to them or to me.I feel so bad when I act that way.  I went to the lake with my daughters and had a good time and got away really started to feel better but as soon as I returned home the feelings were there again. I even went outside and through a few lawn chairs around and slammed a few doors. I am so ashamed of my behavior. I had to take an extra depression pill to calm down.  I really need to get rid of the family that's causing me all the grief.. I just want to pack up my family and move away. maybe tomorrow will be better. I go back to work after 10 days of vacation. I love my job and the girls I work with but I could use another week with pay. God help me to survive all this mess.